1)What is the definition of a minor second?
a)Two oboes playing in unison.
2)What is the definition of a half step?
a)Two oboes playing in unison.
3)What is the definition of a major second?
a)Two baroque oboes playing in unison.
4)How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
a)Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.
5)Why did the chicken cross the road?
a)To get away from the oboe recital.
6)What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
a)A bad oboist can kill you.
7)How many oboe players does it take to change a lightbulb?
a)Only one but he'll go through 30 to 40 bulbs to find the best one.
8)What do you call perfect pitch in an oboe?
a)In the dumpster without hitting the side.
9)Define a lady
a)She owns an oboe yet refues to play it.
10)What's the difference between a family reunion and an oboe solo?
a)You know they are both coming and there is not a darn thing you can do about it!!
11)What's the difference between a high-school oboe section and a 12-cylinder Jaguar engine?
a)With enough time and work, you can eventually get the 12-cylinder Jag in tune.
12)There was a band directer who had a gun with two bullets there was a bad oboe player, trumpet player, and bassoon player. who did he shoot?
a)The oboe player- twice, just to make sure.
13)What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
a)You don't cry when you're cutting up the oboe ....
14)What's the difference between oboe road kill and raccoon road kill?
a)Skid marks in front of the raccoon!
15)How do you get an oboe players eyes to light up?
a)Shine a flashlight in their ears
16)Why should oboe players get no breaks?
a)They will forget how to read notes and it will take too long to reteach them
17)How can you tell the first chair oboe player has been at a computer?
a)There is white out all over the screen
18)How can you tell the second chair oboe player was at the computer after the first chair oboe player?
a)There is writing on the white out
19)Why don't oboists eat bananas?
a)they can't find a zipper OR a pull tab
20)Why do oboists drive BMWs?
a)becuase they can spell it