How To Make Your Wife See Red

I've done it this time! I have this knack for really, really getting my wife upset with me. I can't figure it out, no matter how good my intentions it still leaves her walking away, shaking her head and talking to herself.

For example, I've heard nothing but complaints about the "junk" in the garage since my renewed interest in prospecting. Seems she puts a lot of emphasis on being able to park her car in there.

So I cleaned the garage and she's still not happy because the "junk" is "piled in the yard and the neighbors are complaining."

She told me not to put the "junk" in the woods (we have 8 acres) because it might harm or frighten the wildlife. So I turned to the idea of building a shop to work on my projects and keep my materials and supplies close at hand.

Well now, a fellow just can't rush into these things. You need to plan so that all future needs are considered. I started this project early last summer and am proud to say I have the site leveled and 16 three foot by three foot holes dug.

I tried to explain, that just when I'm ready to start construction, I'd acquire another piece of vital prospecting equipment and need to redesign the building to make room for it.

To make matters worse, I told her I wasn't going to give her a key to the shop. I reasoned, that if she can't stand the "junk", always upset about the mess, afraid of what the neighbors would say if they saw it and to just keep her from always questioning why I need this or that, then why should I let any keys out.

She responded by placing the following ad in the local newspaper:

Free to good home.

Partially housebroken husband.

Has a few bad habits.

Does not respond well to training.

Needs to be kept away from civilization.

No Guarantees— Take as is.

Call (208)555-5555