BY ORDER AND DECREE OF THE GOA'ULD SYSTEM LORDS, IN COOPERATION WITH THE ASGARD ALLIANCE, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF NIRTI WHO WOULD NOT COOPERATE.

The Goa'uld System Lords, Asgard, Tollan, Tok'ra and Nox have agreed that we, the Goa'uld System Lords (hereafter referred to as The Goa'uld System Lords) will now offer a free web hosting service, Jaffaweb.com. Since the current barrage of wireless communication with the internet is interfering with our long range telecommunication devices and instigating petty wars among minor system lords as a result of misdirected calls which invite the trading of insults, members of the Alliance have agreed that we, The Goa'uld System Lords, may fairly engage in a competitive attempt to take over the internet provided we offer free web hosting to you, the Tau'ri. Such attempts are not without precedent. The Goa'uld, have monitored one relevant legal proceeding in your pathetic Tau'ri courts.

JAFFAWEB TERMS OF SERVICE:
1. Kneel before your god. The Goa'uld WILL prevail, therefore it would be unwise to tick us off prematurely.
2. Provide your real name, real email, real address and next of kin on your application form.
3. Spamming is not allowed. Spammers can expect to receive a visit from the ashrak. (Travel expenses incurred by said ashrak to be submitted to next of kin).
4. You may not provide material that is grossly offensive to The Goa'uld System Lords. This includes blatant promotion of or instructions on joining subversive groups such as the Tok'ra, or links to such information.
5. By joining Jaffaweb you automatically receive our Jaffa Times newsletter which explains the benefits of becoming a Jaffa, along with special job offers on recently conquered planets. You cannot unsubscribe from the newsletter.
6. Jaffaweb will delete any site or owner due to inappropriate behavior by the webmaster towards The Goa'uld System Lords

ADVERTIZING:
1. We can use your website for advertizing anytime we want. If this method of hosting is unacceptable to you, another can be arranged.

SUPPORT:
1. 1-800-HAH-SHAK. If you have any problems with your website, call this number and grovel. You will be directed to the next available Jaffa.

PRIVACY POLICY:
1. We can see you and we know where you live.
Enjoy your time on Jaffaweb.

Members of the Goa'uld System Lords/Asgard Alliance and Jaffaweb Cooperative include but are not limited to:

Web Security Consultants
Walk on Through www.whatfirewall.com
Webmaster Omak
email: oneswebusted@checkyours.net

Underground Resources and Printing Service
Up the System www.movedguesswhere.net
Webmaster Garshaw
email: Crystal's Redirect Service growcrystals@vanish.net

Discovering Successful Web Strategies
I Know What You Did Last Planet www.teleballdealy.com
Webmaster Kordesh
email: ifiwereyou@andijustmightbe.org

Ancient Goa'uld Remedies
Site for Sore Eyes www.usedtobemine.com
Webmaster Apophis (formerly Binar)
email: iamteflon@foreveryours.net

You're So Hot Beauty Advice
Burn Baby Burn www.lavamyheart.net
Webmaster Sokar
email: poisongas@spontaneousexplosions.com

Dynasty Your Destiny
Been There Done That www.Yuhoo?.com
Webmaster Yu
email: yuwhome@noyu.com